


How You Turn My World

by indiefic



Series: Through Dangers Untold and Hardships Unnumbered [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Deleted Scenes, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:40:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24217531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indiefic/pseuds/indiefic
Summary: A rehash of Chapter 2 of TDU, from Steve's point of view.  His perspective on when Peggy was taken by Hydra.
Relationships: Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers
Series: Through Dangers Untold and Hardships Unnumbered [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/370472
Comments: 12
Kudos: 74





	How You Turn My World

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this years ago, but never posted it. Recently, Rachel asked about it, so here it is.

SEPTEMBER 1944

LONDON

“Son,” Phillips says, catching Steve’s eye as the rest of the group disbands, “a word.”

Steve nods and reflexively adjusts his tie as he follows Phillips to his office. Steve glances around as he walks, looking for Peggy. He’s been hoping to see her. It’s not unheard of for her to be assigned to other projects, but she is still his official liaison. When he’s in London, she typically is as well.

Phillips holds the door, motioning for Steve to take a seat, which he does. Phillips then closes the door and crosses the office, sinking heavily into his desk chair. Steve shifts nervously in his seat. Whatever this is, it’s not a social visit. “Sir?” he asks, leaning forward, elbows braced on the arms of his chair.

Phillips rubs his eyes wearily. “It’s about Agent Carter,” he says quietly. His naturally dour countenance looks even more grim than usual. “She’s missing.”

Steve blinks, unsure he heard correctly. “Missing?”

Phillips leans forward, bracing his arms on his desk. He tosses a folder at Steve. “We’re pretty damn sure she was taken by Hydra.”

Steve opens the file and looks through it, studying the photographs of Peggy’s apartment, the notes from interviews with other officers and personnel, her landlady, a woman who lives in the adjoining apartment. “Leads?” he asks, looking up at Phillips.

The Colonel frowns. “We don’t have any,” he says flatly. “We’ve chased down everything and none of it has turned up a damn thing useful.”

Steve looks at the file again. “She’s been missing for more than a week,” he says sharply.

Phillips purses his lips together. “I know, son,” he says quietly. “But she’s gone. Without a trace.”

Steve shakes his head and sits back in his chair. He looks down at the file in his hands. “I want to take a look.”

Phillips nods. “You have twenty-four hours,” he says. “That’s all I can give you. And after that, you’re shipping out.”

“And if I don’t find her?” Steve demands.

“I don’t expect you to find her,” Phillips says grimly. “But I know you need your shot at it. Good luck.”

* * *

A WEEK LATER

  
  


“ _ What the fuck _ , Steve?” Bucky demands, glaring at him.

Steve shakes his head, grinding his teeth together. “Sorry,” he says, not sounding very repentant. “Didn’t mean to mess up your shot.”

“You nearly tore his head off with your bare hands,” Bucky says, frowning. “Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t break my heart, but it’s not exactly your style. What the hell is going on?”

Steve looks at Bucky and then growls, spinning around and punching the cinderblock wall of the bunker as hard as he can. The bricks directly in his path shatter and fissures radiate out in all directions.

“Sweet Jesus,” Dugan says, having entered the room moments earlier.

Steve turns, looking at both Dugan and Bucky who are watching him warily.

“You okay, Cap?” Dugan asks.

Steve gives a sharp shake of his head. “Carter’s missing,” he says quietly. “Phillips told me when I was in London. She was abducted from her apartment. There were signs of a struggle and blood at the scene.” He takes a breath. “Pretty sure it was Hydra.”

Dugan shakes his head. “ _ Shit _ .”

“Yeah,” Steve says dryly.

“So, we find ‘er,” Bucky says.

Steve shakes his head. “There are no leads,” he says. “The SSR’s been over everything. I went over it myself too. She disappeared into thin air.” He sighs. “No one seems to have any idea why they took her. Why they would have singled her out among the SSR operatives.” He stops, takes a breath. “Or if they do know why she was taken, they’re not telling me.”

“What does that mean?” Bucky asks. “Like what? Like they think it’s your fault or something?”

“She was part of the Project Rebirth program,” Steve says flatly. With a growl, he stalks away.

* * *

“You’re an idiot,” Bucky says, taking a seat on the steps next to Steve, handing him a cup of scalding hot coffee.

“Thanks, Buck,” Steve says, taking the coffee. 

He’s still completely keyed up. He hates that he lost it in front of Bucky and Dugan, but it is what it is. The thought of Peggy at the mercy of Schmidt and Zola ... It’s worse than when Steve found out Bucky was missing. At least then it had been the amorphous terror of the unknown. But now Steve knows. He’s seen the inside of the lab. He knows that most of Zola’s candidates don’t survive. He knows the odds are long, and they get worse with each passing day.

Bucky leans in toward him, frowning. “It’s not your fault,” he says. “Carter’s a big girl. She made her own choices. She was part of Project Rebirth before you were, so it couldn’t possibly be on you.”

“Yeah,” Steve says dryly, “except for the fact that if it weren’t for me, no one would care about Project Rebirth.”

Bucky’s frown intensifies. “You’re getting awful worked up about a broad you never even nailed.”

Steve pushes his jaw out, irrational anger coursing through his veins. “Don’t start, Buck. I’m warning you.”

Bucky looks at him and shakes his head. “Shit,” he curses. “I knew you had it bad for her. I just didn’t think you had it  _ that _ bad.”

Steve brushes him off, embarrassed. “What difference does it make? She’s part of the team, Buck. And she’s missing. We don’t leave a man behind.”

“We didn’t leave her behind,” Bucky says sourly. He sighs, dragging his hand through his hair. “So,” he continues, a little lamely, “like I said earlier we ... find ‘er.” He frowns at Steve and presses on, before he can be interrupted. “It’s not like we weren’t already in the business of taking down Hydra bases.” He pauses, his expression sobering. He shivers slightly. “ _ If  _ they have her, and  _ if _ she’s still alive, she’s in one of those bases.”

Steve purses his lips together, shaking his head. “That’s a lot of ifs.”

“You got a better plan?” Bucky demands.

“No,” Steve admits.

“Then fine,” Bucky says. “We stick to the plan and we find your girl.”

“Buck,” Steve says, “if you call her that in front of her, she’s liable to take your head off.”

* * *

OCTOBER 1944 (same time as Chapter 2 of TDU)

HYDRA BASE

  
  


“Rogers,” Falsworth bellows. “She’s here.”

Steve sprints down the hallway and slams through the lab door, nearly pulling it off the hinges. His heart stops as he looks at Peggy, restrained to the gurney, shaking violently.

“We need something to cut these restraints,” Falsworth says to Morita. Morita reaches for his knife.

Steve closes the distance to Peggy and grabs the heavy canvas tie restraining her legs, tearing it free of its moorings as he leans over her. He quickly grabs the other two canvas bands and tips them loose as well. “Peggy?” She’s alive. Holy shit, she’s alive.

Steve is only vaguely aware of Falsworth and Morita both backing up several paces.

Peggy nods tightly and tries to push herself into a sitting position. Steve steadies her, a hand on her shoulder as his other hand takes the cuff around her wrist and snaps the metal links. He has to force himself to be gentle as he touches her. He wants nothing more than to crush her against himself.

“Steve?” she says, looking at him, her eyes struggling to focus. She shakes her head. “I’m fine.” She immediately gags, leaning over the edge of the gurney, retching.

Steve looks up and meets both Falsworth and Morita’s eyes. He knows he looks the same as them - scared. He can feel Peggy shaking. She’s in far rougher shape than Bucky was when they found him.

There’s a deep rumble from another part of the factory. “Cap, we gotta - “ Morita says.

Steve nods and in a fluid motion, scoops Peggy up in his arms and runs. He follows Morita and Falsworth, allowing them to provide cover. In his arms, Peggy is whimpering in pain, still shaking so hard Steve can feel it over the motion of his own running. He hears Morita radio for Jones and the three of them make straight for the exit point. Steve hates leaving Buck on his own, but right now, he has no choice. He has to get Peggy to safety.

They reach the rendezvous point and Jones isn’t there. Peggy is retching again, coughing up bile and acid. She looks like death, ghostly pale; dry lips, bloodless and cracked. Her eyes, when she can manage to open them are completely bloodshot and she washes in and out of coherence. Steve has never been more terrified in his life.

Steve shifts Peggy in his arms, resting her head against his shoulder, positioning her like she’s standing next to him, though he’s bearing all of her weight. He holds her, limp in his arms, both grateful and terrified. He presses his lips to her forehead, hating the cold, clammy feel of her skin. “Hang in there, Peggy,” he pleads.

Falsworth and Morita do their best to appear distracted and Steve appreciates their effort. Part of him can’t believe they actually found her alive. He releases a shuddering breath, closing his eyes, praying he can keep her that way. 

“There he is,” Morita says heading toward Jones, who is hauling ass across an open field in a battered old transport truck.

Steve scoops Peggy up again and walks to the truck, immediately climbing in the back, ducking below the canvas covering. He takes a seat with his back braced against the back of the cab as Peggy rests against him, her back to his front. Morita takes Jones’ place as Jones joins Steve and Peggy in the back of the truck. 

Jones shrugs out of his jacket, immediately covering Peggy with it as he looks her over. His expression is tight. “We’ve got to get her out of here,” he says.

Steve nods. They’re days from a proper medical facility. He doesn’t ask Jones how bad it is because he doesn’t want to hear the answer. Peggy’s going to make it if he has to move heaven and earth to do it.

Jones frowns. “I’m going to try and scavenge some blankets or coats. She’s in shock, on top of whatever else they did to her.”

Steve waits, his attention hyper focused on Peggy’s every breath, every movement. She’s so cold to the touch, and he curses his damn uniform. It’s so well insulated that he knows he isn’t doing much to warm her. 

Jones returns with several Hydra uniform coats and he covers Peggy with them as best he can. He checks her vitals again and shakes his head. “Has she regained consciousness?”

Steve shakes his head. “Not really.”

Frowning, Jones climbs out of the truck. There’s a bunch of shouting and Bucky and Dernier jump in the back of the truck as it lurches away. There’s a volley of gunfire and Steve crouches down, pulling Peggy with him, rolling her onto her side and then shielding her with his body. She whimpers in pain, shaking harder. 

Bucky and Dernier return fire. Steve knows the base is a loss, but clearly there are a lot of Hydra survivors who are giving a hell of a chase. The transport truck isn’t fast and it isn’t particularly maneuverable. If they didn’t have Peggy with them, they would have ditched it already.

It seems like hours, though Steve knows it is only minutes before their pursuers fall back and Bucky and Dernier slump against the sides of the truck. Steve sits up again, pulling Peggy into his arms. Dernier moves toward them, covering Peggy with the coats. Steve meets Dernier’s eyes and Dernier frowns, shaking his head. He pounds a fist on the cab of the truck, yelling to Jones in French.

The truck slows and pulls off the path into dense brush. Jones scrambles in the back with his canvas bag of medical supplies, checking on Peggy. He looks grim. He dumps out the bag and roots through various vials, taking a syringe and filling it from several different vials before injecting Peggy. 

She manages to hiss and curse, “Bloody hell.” She’s out quickly, and no longer shaking. 

“We’ll find somewhere to stop soon,” Jones says. 

* * *

“Warm,” Jones says, meeting Steve’s eyes. “We need to get her as warm as we can as quickly as we can.”

Steve looks at the dripping rain beyond the truck’s tarp. He frowns at Jones. For his part, Jones looks away, swallowing thickly. “Body heat,” he says. “We need to strip her down and get skin to skin contact as soon as possible.”

Steve bristles at the idea.

“She’s going to die,” Jones says gravely. “Look, the guys almost have a tent up. It’ll be better than the truck. It’s the only shelter we have out here. We can draw lots - “

“I’ll do it,” Steve says with finality. “I’m warmer than any of the rest of you.”

Jones nods.

Bucky yells that the tent is up and Steve lifts Peggy, carefully climbing out of the truck and hurrying to the tent. He crawls inside with her tucked carefully against himself, pulling the flaps shut. It’s dim and close, but dry. Quickly as possible, he strips down himself. Then he strips her clothes off, leaving her undergarments. He doesn’t imagine they provide much resistance to heat transfer. He tucks her under the few blankets they have, pulling her close, wrapping as much of himself around her as he can. Her back is to his front, and she’s so cold.

Steve lays there for what feels like eternity, holding her, praying silently. Her shivers slowly subside and he can feel her muscles relax and her breathing even out. That has to be a good sign, doesn’t it? 

It’s at least another hour before she shifts, rolling over toward him, tucking her head under his chin. She presses into him with a heavy sigh. Steve could weep with relief. Instead, he settles for wrapping her in his arms and holding her as her feet twine with his.

Somewhat calmer, Steve dozes. He wakes as Peggy rolls over again, though he doesn’t think she’s awake. She presses closer to the flap of the tent, searching for fresh air. He doesn’t blame her one bit. They’re both pretty ripe, mixed with the acrid stench of that lab. She takes a deep breath and releases it in a shuddering sigh, her entire body relaxing. Closing his eyes again, Steve places a hand on her hip and drifts back to sleep.

* * *

It seems to take forever to get her back to base. Peggy rallied overnight, but the following day quickly burns through whatever reserves she banked. By the time night falls, she looks to be in worse shape than when they first pulled her out of the lab.

Steve spends another night with her in a tent, most of it awake, holding her, listening to make sure she’s breathing. She’s conscious less than the previous night, moves less. She snugs up against him and doesn’t budge. Steve keeps his arms wrapped around her, even though he’s so hot he’s sweating buckets. He can still feel her shivering.

He knows it can’t be a good sign that she’s regressing. When they found Buck, once he started to improve, he steadily got better. Steve wonders if Zola did something worse to Peggy than he did to Buck. 

Steve almost hopes they never catch Zola. If they do, he’s not sure he’ll be able to stop himself from ripping the man limb from limb. 

Peggy doesn’t really regain consciousness. At daybreak, they’re moving. Steve is pushing all of them hard. They rig up a stretcher and Steve and the fellas take turns, moving as quickly as they can over the broken ground, while trying not to jostle her too much. 

They finally get back to base near evening. Steve has one end of the stretcher, Bucky has the other. They book it to the medical tent, Jones following closely behind.

* * *

The nurses quickly shuffle Steve and Bucky out of the way as they go to work on Peggy. The doctor takes Jones aside and get a rundown on Peggy’s condition. Steve is standing there, on the edge of the chaos, watching the nurses attend to Peggy. Bucky stands at his side.

Bucky nudges Steve with his shoulder. Steve follows his line of sight to the tent entrance, where Colonel Phillips stands.

Phillips walks over to where Jones and the doctor are talking. He glances over at Steve and gives him a tight smile.

“Come on, Steve,” Bucky says. “There’s nothing more we can do right now.”

* * *

Steve isn’t loitering. He’s not. He’s ... taking a walk. Why, exactly, he would need to take a walk around the perimeter of the medical tent probably wouldn’t be clear to most people, but Steve knows he is precisely where he needs to be.

He’s listening. And he hears her when she calls.

Steve slips into the tent and past two nurses in the blink of an eye. The lighting is dim and the tent is pretty much at capacity. However, it looks like most of the patients are asleep.

Steve crouches next to Peggy’s cot and she immediately rolls toward him, looping her arm through his, tugging. He complies as best he can without getting either of them in trouble. He’s close enough that she can bury her nose against the front of his uniform. 

His free hand cups the back of her head. “It’s okay, Peggy,” he says quietly.

She seems to relax, sighing deeply and going still. Her blankets are a mess and he does his best to straighten them out. He arranges the pillow under her head. He knows she’s asleep, but he also knows that if he tries to uncurl his arm from hers, she will wake. So he stays where he is.

Crouching next to her cot is not comfortable. But Steve’s had worse. With considerably smaller stakes. 

He hears a sigh and he looks up at the nurse, who is giving him a soft frown. “We just sent someone looking for you.”

“Ma’am?” Steve asks.

The nurse looks at Peggy and then at Steve. “Jones suggested we talk to you. We wanted to know how you managed to calm her without sedation in the field.”

Steve arches an eyebrow, frowning.

The nurse shakes her head. “She was very agitated earlier.”

Steve shrugs and gives the nurse a sheepish smile.

“Do you want a chair?”

He shakes his head. “If I move far enough away to sit down, she won’t like it.”

“Suit yourself,” the nurse says softly, leaving them.

* * *

At some point, in the wee hours of the morning, the nurses take pity on him and move in a cot, right next to Peggy. Steve sinks into it gratefully. He lays next to her, one of his arms still around her. According to the nurses, she’s improving rapidly.

Steve finally feels like he can release the breath he’s been holding for weeks. He has never been so thankful for anything in his life. 

* * *

Steve wakes just after dawn. A nurse is taking Peggy’s vitals and seems to be pleased with the results. 

Steve carefully sits up, watching Peggy. She doesn’t stir. When he’s convinced she will stay asleep, he pushes himself to his feet. 

Steve looks down at the nurse. “I have to go, but if she needs anything, send someone for me.”

“She’ll be fine, Captain,” the nurse says encouragingly.

* * *

They never send anyone for Steve. He hears Peggy’s condition is rapidly improving. He stops by, tucking a drawing under her pillow, but she’s asleep. He barely makes it a hundred yards from the medical tent before Bucky finds him and tells him they have a new mission.

  
  


END STORY


End file.
